More than 50 years later I still hate her. I get agitated whenever she comes to mind. I want to swear and call her names. I want to use the "c" word on her, and punch her right in the fucking face!! In my mind I'm doing that right now! The humiliation that one person heaped on me over a period of years is beyond description, at least in my limited vocabulary.
One of my favorite memories of her was in grade one when for some reason Sister Michaela was provoked to ask me if I had any brains in my head. I can still see the moment! I can still "feel" the moment! She was sitting at her desk in front of our garde one and two class, and I was approximately 3 or 4 seats from the front, in the 2nd or maybe 3rd row from the left.
For some reason I heard her wrong and thought she said "drains" not brains. It is quite possible that having been raised in an immigrant family I didn't even know the word brains? Being from the country I sure knew what drains were though, and I knew damn well that I didn't have any in my head. So of course I told her so. And did she ever think that was funny!! Could you imagine a teacher even talking to a 6 year old kid like that, and then laughing at the stupid immigrant kid from the country when he proved himself an idiot? And all of this took place in front of 30 other kids, most of them 3rd or 4th generation canadians, and most of them from town. Yes. I still hate her! Black was the right color for her. And if my hatred seems a little over the top, let me assure you that I have even worse memories than this one.
Phew! Deep breath! Relax!
Please accept my apologies for that diatribe but I had to get it out.
What the hell triggered that you must be thinking?
Simple.
My original idea for today's post was to talk about using my brain a little more in my training instead of my usual mindless grinding. Sure enough, as soon as I considered the brain in my head, the ugly flashback occurred.
Anyway.....my previous Ironman endeavours have been primarily about training my body but not always hand in hand with my brain. I need to get more free speed by fixing my swim stroke, and my cycling technique, and in general just adding a little more science to my training. It means trying to do a little more research and to do a better analysis. Thankfully I survived the years of torment from the devils whore. Although my psyche was, and apparently still is affected by her "teaching", my brain came out of it more or less intact.
So I am determined to learn more about good training techniques over the coming months and apply my new knowledge. I truly believe that there is great opportunity.
So I have decided that for the next 24 days (til my marathon) I will fore go leg weights, and focus on my running, as well as my bike and swim technique. Stay tuned.
Oh and big Ironman Canada news today....but that's tomorrows post.
(swim drills, run 10 kms)
...and here's some good advice for me...
"Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him."---Martin Luther King Jr
One of my favorite memories of her was in grade one when for some reason Sister Michaela was provoked to ask me if I had any brains in my head. I can still see the moment! I can still "feel" the moment! She was sitting at her desk in front of our garde one and two class, and I was approximately 3 or 4 seats from the front, in the 2nd or maybe 3rd row from the left.
For some reason I heard her wrong and thought she said "drains" not brains. It is quite possible that having been raised in an immigrant family I didn't even know the word brains? Being from the country I sure knew what drains were though, and I knew damn well that I didn't have any in my head. So of course I told her so. And did she ever think that was funny!! Could you imagine a teacher even talking to a 6 year old kid like that, and then laughing at the stupid immigrant kid from the country when he proved himself an idiot? And all of this took place in front of 30 other kids, most of them 3rd or 4th generation canadians, and most of them from town. Yes. I still hate her! Black was the right color for her. And if my hatred seems a little over the top, let me assure you that I have even worse memories than this one.
Phew! Deep breath! Relax!
Please accept my apologies for that diatribe but I had to get it out.
What the hell triggered that you must be thinking?
Simple.
My original idea for today's post was to talk about using my brain a little more in my training instead of my usual mindless grinding. Sure enough, as soon as I considered the brain in my head, the ugly flashback occurred.
Anyway.....my previous Ironman endeavours have been primarily about training my body but not always hand in hand with my brain. I need to get more free speed by fixing my swim stroke, and my cycling technique, and in general just adding a little more science to my training. It means trying to do a little more research and to do a better analysis. Thankfully I survived the years of torment from the devils whore. Although my psyche was, and apparently still is affected by her "teaching", my brain came out of it more or less intact.
So I am determined to learn more about good training techniques over the coming months and apply my new knowledge. I truly believe that there is great opportunity.
So I have decided that for the next 24 days (til my marathon) I will fore go leg weights, and focus on my running, as well as my bike and swim technique. Stay tuned.
Oh and big Ironman Canada news today....but that's tomorrows post.
(swim drills, run 10 kms)
...and here's some good advice for me...
"Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him."---Martin Luther King Jr
Love
Peter
I love the quote! It is good advice for anyone. Although I am sure you feel better after your rant, you will feel even better for a longer period of time if you are able to let go of this thought and realize she no longer has power over you or your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteLove old john