"Perspective"

In it's simplest definition the word perspective means "point of view" or the position from which something is viewed.  This is a powerful consideration when we are communicating with other people, and especially critical when there is significant differences in the life experiences of those involved in the communication.  When we use words to describe something we are always doing so based on our own personal perspective.  And what we see from where we sit, can be so radically different that if we don't first rationalize these differences it can make our conversations at best extremely frustrating, and at worst practically without value.

When I think of differences in life experiences and the communication challenges that come with these differences I believe there is no more universal example than that of the typical parent/child situation. Generally the age difference between these 2 groups is 20 years or more, and in today's fast paced, ever changing world that difference may as well be light years.  I think that as a parent one must recognize that he/she needs to be the one to try to rationalize this problem since we as the parent has had the benefit of greater experience.  Often we take the stance that our kids should just acknowledge our greater experience and learn from what we tell them.  But think about it?  They have had a chance at only one perspective, that of child, where as we have presumably seen it from both sides.  It is our job I believe to try to put ourselves in their seat, to see things from their perspective.  And furthermore I suggest that until one is able to do this, one will never know how to frame our questions or offer advice such that it actually benefits them.

And as committed as I am to this bit of wisdom I must also admit that it has come to me too late in life for it to be of any value.  I only just learned it from my grandchildren.

The other thing that I have learned from my grandchildren is that a picture is worth a thousand words, and so I will paint you a picture to help explain perspective.  Or rather than a picture, a sculpture, and rather than do it for you, I challenge you to do it yourself.

 Go to the cupboard and find a potato and then grab a knife from the drawer.  Now sit down and carve that potato such that you could pass it through 3 separate holes, one of each which are round, square and triangular.  The catch is that the potato must fill each of the holes completely as it passes through.  This is not as hard as it sounds.  Once you have that potato carved hold out in front of you with one of its 3 distinct faces pointed towards you.  Now imagine that you don't know the overall shape of the potato.  What do you see?  What if you left the potato exactly where it is and moved around to another face, or should I say another perspective?  What do you see?

I believe that differences in perspective on an intellectual or emotional level, are  no less dramatic than the physical one described by the potato sculpture.  When our children are seeing a circle and we know damn well it's a square, is it any wonder that we don't understand what the hell they are talking about?   We need to move around the potato to have a look from their side.....and then we can ground them for the rest of their lives!!!!

(no workout)

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."---Marcus Aurelius

Love

Peter